Comic Bastards Toolbox: Spawn

If you’re a fan of the site’s podcast then I’m sure that you’ve heard an episode of the CBMFP Toolbox in which Kevin and I “fix” a character. Here’s the deal, we all know that characters that have been around forever end up with a lot of baggage and that’s what were here to take care of. Sometimes we’ll give you a crazy storyline that would put that character up against odds that they’ve never seen before and other times we’ll just rebuild the character from the ground up and ignore their entire past. Hell it could end up being something as simple as killing a supporting character; we’ll see how it goes in this new weekly feature. Today I’m going to take a crack at Spawn. The thing about Spawn is that I really like the series and character, but in its 230+ issues it’s become just as bad as pre-reboot DC and current the Marvel U. Spawn is carrying a lot of baggage and has had more retcons than I can count. Remember the time that God and Satan were Wanda’s twins and they kept stabbing each other with sharp objects and then basically Spawn killed them to seal off Heaven and Hell… yeah that’s what I’m talking about.

The problem here is that you can’t just reboot the series. It’s not exactly old enough and only the core fans have been following it for the entirety of its run. If you take it back to the beginning you’ll just be delivering the same story that most people already know: Al Simmons becomes a Hellspawn in order to see his wife again, etc, etc. Well if you can’t reboot it and there’s too much baggage to really do anything with it the way it is other than stay the course… what do you do? Now what I’m about to say is going to piss a lot of people off or at the very least get some eye rolls.

Make it a comedy.

Yeah that’s right, a comedy. The thing about Spawn is that the series is always serious. When there is a joke it’s usually very demented and dark, but otherwise the series is 100% serious all of the time. You can argue that Clown provides comedic relief, but again… it’s twisted humor. It’s not like Spawn is running down the street and stubs his toe and calls off the chase and hobbles off pissed off because of his toe.

Now with this idea you don’t have to reboot the series, but that is an option. Think about the possibilities with starting over in the world of Spawn and returning Al Simmons to the role of Hellspawn, but now he’s a clumsy idiot. Instead of being a skilled warrior, maybe it’s a case of mistaken identity and they grabbed the wrong Al Simmons. Once Hell discovers the error they send the Hellspawn to kill the Al Simmons they wanted, but wrong-Simmons gets his ass kicked. The problem is they can’t void his contract until they have a replacement for the suit because the suit will become useless and they don’t want that. When wrong-Al Simmons discovers this he goes on the run from Hell.

At this point you can introduce the angels and Heaven as he’s likely to run into them. It turns out that even though he’s a bumbling idiot, he’s pretty good at deflecting angels and so he just ends up pissing them off more with his antics.

Just imagine him hanging out in dumpster alley and whiny about having to eat worms and maggots for dinner. The entire time he’s just talking about eating a cronut or some shit and trying to make the suit turn into nice clothing so he can walk in public. Really if you need a better visual picture Quantum & Woody plus Deadpool, but in the world of Spawn. This time around though, Clown is the straight-man. He must be because that’s the only way that he’s funny. Spawn can constantly ask him why he’s called “Clown” and each time he just sighs and waits for him to leave.

I’m telling you, if you want new readership the best thing to do with Spawn is take it in the opposite direction. Make it funny and develop an entirely new line of toys and merchandise for the character… after building an audience. As a Spawn fan I would definite read a series like this… and I would totally write it as well if approached. What do you think? Would you buy a comedic Spawn series or do you have a different way to fix Spawn?

Thanks for reading and stop by next week to see what’s new in the Comic Bastards Toolbox.

Review: From Up On Poppy Hill

Everyone has their favorite Studio Ghilbli film. Some go all the way back to the studios roots while others enjoy their titles that made them a national phenomenon. I’ve never really had a favorite, I’ve just enjoyed them all… until now. Something about this film spoke to me. It captured and confirmed what I know of Japanese culture from animations just like this one. It became an instant classic and solidified its place as my favorite Miyazaki/Studio Ghilbli film. The story begins following a young high school girl named Umi. We follow her complex morning routine as she prepares breakfast for the entire house hold and takes care of whatever else she needs to handle that day. Her routines are choreography of perfect timing and ends with her raising two signal flags on the flag post in the front of the home. One of the ships passing by sounds its horn and we head down to the harbor were a young boy named Shun is raising the same flags on his father’s tugboat, in response to Umi’s. The tugboat docks and after another well-choreographed routine begins and ends with Shun as he leaves the ship and begins riding his bike to school.

At this point the plot is still unknown to the viewer, but we have learned quite a bit. We know our main characters and have seen their normal day. We know that this is post war society and that families are incomplete due to deaths and hardships. We can also see that the women’s role in society has changed and grown. It’s not exactly a women’s right movement, but it’s clear that due to the absence of husbands and sons they’ve adapted to a self-sufficient life and taken on other roles in society.

We travel to school and follow Umi again. As she sits down for class a friend shows her a poem in the school newspaper. It’s about a girl flying signal flags and sending her thoughts to the sky. Her friends say that the poem has to be about her and even Umi is silently sure that it is. Later that day while the students are eating lunch outside we’re shown a building that becomes a large part of the story. It’s an old clubhouse that literally houses all of the school’s clubs from newspaper to philosophy.

The dirty shutters open and a flood of students stand at the ready holding banners. They let the banners loose and it becomes clear that they’re protesting the destruction of the clubhouse. Shun and another boy stand together on the roof while other students remove a safety grate over a well. Shun and Umi’s eyes meet for a second, but Shun is giving the go ahead. Without hesitation he runs and leaps from the roof and falls into the trees below, but catches a good bounce and ends up in the well. Umi springs into action and runs over to see if Shun is okay. He pops up and again their eyes meet, but this time the entire school is watching.

The story is incredible. It shows how complex the world can be and that the pains of war are lasting. They don’t simply disappear because the war is over. For both of our characters they’re dealing with the pain of loss, but neither of them imagined that that loss would complicate their budding romance or what romance would do to their normal routines. The writing is again, incredible. The pacing of the plot and the twists and turns are simply perfect.

With any Studio Ghilbli film there is an expectation with the animation. Sometimes we entering a magical world full of fantasy while other times we’re grounded in reality. This story is grounded in reality and it’s beautiful. From the moment I saw the trailer I knew that I wanted to see this movie for the animation along. Watching it I was literally transported back to era, it’s that amazing. The characters are wonderfully animated and have fluid movements. Watching the students clean and bend over could make you sore from watching it was that realistic. The entire world’s movement resembles the real world that we live in.

For me personally, when it comes to animation what makes or breaks it is the coloring. It’s why CG animation can never replace traditional animation. This film has the best coloring I’ve ever seen. Everything from the sky to the sea comes to life due to the vivid coloring making the entire film candy for the eyes.

Part of me wishes that I had watched the film in the theater, that I had tracked down a show time and drove to who knows where to see it. The other part of me is glad that I saw it in the comfort of my own home because it made for a personal viewing experience. It’s because of that reason that this became my favorite film from Studio Ghibli. With the home release just over two weeks away, I would highly recommend pre-ordering a copy to have the day of its release. It’s an absolute treat even if you’re more accustomed to the studio’s fantasy based films. My money says that you’ll enjoy this film the same if not more.

Score: 5/5

Writer: Hayao Miyazaki

Director: Goro Miyazaki

Animation Studio: Studio Ghibli

Home Release: GKids

Price: $34.95

Format: Blu-Ray/DVD Combo

Release Date: 9/3/13

Group Review: Zombie Tramp vol. 2 #1

It’s safe to say that not everyone is going to like a book about a Zombie that was once a call girl and that even in the afterlife dresses… well you see the cover use your imagination. As a site we’ve covered the first volume of this series previously and even have a video interview with creator/writer and artist Dan Mendoza from Wonder Con two years ago. Needless to say, we’ve been waiting. With all group reviews each of the writers/reviewers will give the series a score of: Buy, Borrow or Pass and then a reason for that score to follow afterwards. First here’s what Danger Zone has to say about the series: We're back for volume two, and picking up right where we left off, where does Janey, our former Hollywood call girl turned undead heroine, go from here? What fetish fashion will she wear?? And more importantly, why is it called the Taint Train of Terror? All aboard to find out!

Carl aka The Info Zombie: BUY

Former call girl Jane Belle got a bite from the undead and became the Zombie Tramp.  A group of thrill-seeking youths explore an abandoned whorehouse rumored to be haunted.  There, they come upon a young girl who announces the arrival of the titular character.  The little girl is not what she seems, and she sends The Zombie Tramp on an adventure to reclaim the soul of a lost friend.

This selection for mature readers features all the blood, guts, and zomnudity one would crave.  Irreverent, depraved, and fun, The Zombie Tramp turns the zombie craze into an entertaining romp courtesy of a fun story, original characters, and morbid illustrations.  Of note is the artwork that seems simple due to the predominantly black and white mode.  Yet, the injections of colors reveal a depth of well-placed design.

Grab this book to get a head start on your Halloween build-up because this romp into the world of undead hookers is as fun as saying the term ‘undead hookers’.

Samantha: BUY

I haven’t gotten a chance to read everything comic out from Action Lab’s Danger Zone, but when I get the chance to I jump for it. They really have put out some quality titles with badass art and even better narratives. Promising the readers some danger and real gore is easy but delivering with every single title is the hard part; Action Lab has gone above and beyond to provide us with entertainment at the danger level for a supposed mature reader.

Zombie Tramp is exactly what you think it is; lots of blood splatter over the necessary parts of boobies. I enjoy the coloring of this book. The pops of color here and there give it that eerie feel. The little girl’s story paired with a whore will give it that intellectual humor on top of hopefully a cute little story. It is a quick read, so I have no doubts that most readers will stick around because it is so quick and enjoyable. I don’t know exactly where the little girl is taking us and why her parents are so bad, but it alludes to some pretty interesting turns in the long run.

Jordan: PASS

With art that looks like a half-baked teenager’s web comic and enough meaningless nudity to make Heff blush, Zombie Tramp pretty much exactly fulfilled my expectations. Look, I get it, this whole thing is silly and that’s kinda the point but any book called Zombie Tramp or Vampire Slut or Grenade Gimp or whatever dumb crap some guy thought up in a basement somewhere will pretty much always annoy me. It’s a cheap gimmick to throw a trending genre in with some tits and an “audacious” title and call it anything less than childish. The kind of people who are really into this type of thing are the same type of guys that have a folder on their computers full of cos-playing women pumped up to the brim with silicone called “Jimmy`s bank o` spank” or something like that or ignorant “trendophiles” who get their neathers all worked up over anything 'indie' and 'edgy' regardless of quality. It’s sad. And this comic is lame.

I get it, boobs exist and so does blood but honestly what’s the point? As far as I could ascertain it’s to show you more boobs and more blood, the whole time nudging you in the ribs in an “amirite?!” type of way and in an odd way reminding you of that one kid from 6th grade. There’s ridiculousness where the silly-makers are in on the joke and enjoy it with you and there’s ridiculousness where the joke is lame and at some point the tables tip and you’re laughing at the person making the joke. This comic takes it a step further. This comic is trying to joke and all I can think is, “stop... god—just stop.”

Zombie Tramp does have an element of dumb entertainment to it. But mostly it’s just dumb. By the end of my read though I felt every bit as dead inside as the grotesquely buxom protagonist.

Dustin: BUY

Ready for the most biased opinion on this title? Good. I loved it! I’m a huge fan of this series and have eagerly awaited the second volume to begin at Danger Zone. I actually already read this issue, but I was happy to see it in print and heading to comic shops around the country because that’s where it needs to be.

For me, this series and this issue is just fun. Yes the sex appeal is poured on, but that’s what makes it hilarious at times. The gore is just right and black and white suits the story. I’m going to plug my full review for this issue which you can find here. Basically if you just want a romp of a good time then you should pick this book up!

Steve: BORROW

Initially, I was gonna give this one a pass, but I'm feeling saucy, so I'll ratchet it up to a borrow. I can see how Zombie Tramp would appeal if you're just looking for a slinky little horror strip with a fair share of cheesecake. You won't be breaking any mental sweats here, but then again, if you're coming to a book called Zombie Tramp looking for intellectual discourse, you're gonna have bad time. I'd never read the first series, but I doubt it's necessary in a story as straightforward as this, though it might shed some light on the girl haunting its ending a bit. The art is largely unpolished, and it takes a while to get used to, but it does have some moments of greatness. I'll just say "hand-mouth scene" and leave it there. This is rail t&a fare, which isn't my cup of tea these days, but I can see why it might have cult appeal, if for no other reason than it is what it is. Give it a glance if you get a chance, but I personally wouldn't throw down for it.

Kevin R: PASS

I don’t like zombies. It’s not anything against the concept- there is something obviously pretty frightening at work here- but I’m just so burnt out. I feel like everybody in any medium has at one point been zombified by now. Between four different incarnations of The Walking Dead, enough Marvel Zombie stories to fill a 1000+ page Omnibus, and enough ripoffs of those two to fill a warehouse, I feel like there’s been enough zombie fiction in comics- and any medium, really- for  a while.

So as you can expect, when Dustin sent me over “Zombie Tramp #1” my expectations were not necessarily high to begin with. And boy, does this book deliver. It’s a zombie story with absolutely no bite. I’ve no reason to like any of the characters the book introduces- including the title character- besides “Hey, that’s cool,” a gimmick I had assumed died with the Liefeld/Lee/McFarlane era of Image Comics in the mid-90’s.

Matched with these problems is the gratuitous nudity. Now, to be fair, the book’s called ‘Zombie Tramp’ so you can expect for the main character to be in some sort of undress, I suppose? But Zombie Tramp is so effortlessly disgusting and exploitative that I can’t imagine anybody actually being able to get through it. When Zombie Tramp finally throws some clothes on, it’s this bizarre, gross, goth attempt at Zatanna cosplay that is so distasteful that I actually sort of gagged.

The whole thing’s so tactlessly crazy and over the top for the sake of being tactless, crazy and over the top that there’s nothing for me to grab on to. There isn’t any real sense of likable characters, drama or tension and by the time the issue is over, I just kind of sighed and closed the book hoping never to read it again.

Kevin: BUY

When I first laid eyes on Dan Mendoza’s Zombie Trap didn’t know what to think. What was this comic going to do, where was it going to go? Thankfully it only took a few panels for me to fall in love with the look and feel of this book. If Laney Belle doesn’t win you over there is no hope for you. She’s sexy, adorable with a touch of gore and an extra helping of charm. I was instantly on her side and pulling for her even though she just disembowels two men. Now that’s a main character you can get behind. Simplistic and stylish all at the same time Zombie Trap is about as fun as it gets!

Score: 4 Buys, 2 Passes and a Borrow!

Writer/Artist/Creator: Dan Mendoza

Publisher: Danger Zone

Price: $2.99

Release Date: 10/16/13

Review: Today’s Hero #1

The best thing about indie comic books is it that you never know what you are going to really get. When a book called Today’s Hero popped up, I assumed one thing and get another. In a suburban home, Jake sits in front of his television ready to “punch his clown” when he is interrupted by a telephone call. On the other end is Ms, Caldwell, an insurance agent that is investigating his workers compensation.

Now frantic, Jake has to live up to his claim. Which was him missing his arm from the elbow down. So before the agent arrives at his home Jake must live up to his claim and the only way he knows how is to take care of it himself.

I’m not going to lie; Today’s Hero is a comic that won’t be for everyone. It will lead to a lot of head scratching for most but for me I just wanted to know more. I assume Jake has some sort of regeneration power, did Jake’s desire of beating his dick and doing nothing all day lead to his consent insurance hustle, which I think would work once.

My only grip is that I know that there is a cool premise around Jake in his world with the death of the US’ only superhero, General Freedom; the government must recruit candidates through reality television. The book doesn’t tell you that so it’s a little confusing as to what’s going on. Perhaps with that introduction it would have aided to the overall narrative for the reader.

Steve Wameling’s art does its job and seeks away with some great panels. Especially the build up to the time when Jake is to figure out what to do with his arm.

Paul LaPorte and VA Comics label have more than an interesting thing going on here with Today’s Hero and I for one would really like to see more, a lot more. The very thing that put me off from the book (being thrust into the story with no explanation whatsoever) was the very same thing that sparked my interest. But doing that might not always translate for everyone.

If this book sounds like something that’s up your alley then buy a copy so we as comic fans can get another issue.

Score: 2/5

Writer: Paul LaPorte

Artist: Steve Wameling

Publisher: VA Comics

Price: $2.99 Digital

Release Date: 8/01/13

Website

Review: Grimm Fairy Tales #88

With an impressive 88^th installment of their Grimm Fairy Tales series coming out today, Zenescope is putting out one of the longest-running independently published in-color ongoing series in comics. If you’ve never read any of the Grimm Fairy Tales like me, here’s a brief synopsis: the series follows Sela Mathers who is a “Falseblood.”  Essentially this means that she was born with both human and “Highborn” (belonging to one of four realms linked to Earth: Myst, Neverland, Wonderland, and Oz) blood.  Sela also protects and guides other Falsebloods on Earth while trying to stop evil from destroying it.  What was confusing to me was that the book introduced Sela, but in this issue she’s “busy dealing with a worldwide crisis.”  I wish they would have instead introduced the Dark One and the Dark Queen before the story.  Previously in the series it does say that the Dark One brought back his wife, the aforementioned Dark Queen.  To do this, he performed “one final sacrifice at the mouth of an active volcano.”  They then do a good job providing back matter on the subject once the book actually starts, but for someone who’s never read this comic before it was a little confusing trying to figure everything out before delving into reading it.

This issue takes place in Las Vegas, which is symbolic in the fact that Malec (we learn that this is the Dark One’s name) sums the city up and says that beneath all the smiles of the dancers and all the bright neon lights is darkness, waiting to claim anyone who can find its truth.  After that, we’re introduced to the resurrected Dark Queen who is an enormous and atrocious monster.  She is clearly made up of the volcano where Malec was performing his botched sacrifice; flames rise and rocks smolder on her body as lava drips down from all over.  The Dark Queen claims that Malec had thousands of years to bring her back, and now he has failed.  His rebuttal is that he had to go to great lengths to even try to resurrect the Dark Queen: he had to perform sacrifices, find gems and scepters, chalices, and amulets.  It all meant nothing, but Malec is still promising that he will bring his queen back.

Right about here when there is a panel of only the Dark One I noticed that the art is not nearly as good as it is on the front cover.  I’ve read other reviews saying the same thing about Zenescope books; I just don’t see how hard it would be to fix that problem.  The art’s pretty good, but it’s nothing to write home about.  The colors don’t pop off the page, it’s hard to imagine the mansion that this issue takes place in, and the overall quality just isn’t what you see on these covers.

Getting back to the story, this is just where I thought I understood everything that was going on.  Of course this is when the most bizarre part in the book has to take place.  One of Malec’s servants says that a guy named Morrigan needs to see him.  Malec all of a sudden grows this demon-like hand and rips the servant’s head off.  To me this seemed for no apparent reason.  Luckily after this though, more plot points are explained and the story comes to a good conclusion.  We learn that the Dark Queen was once a princess of Myst, and her real name is Lucinda.  Not before long though, she was corrupted by the Dark Horde.  Her servant would teach her the dark arts, but Lucinda’s strict parents quickly found out what she was doing and put the servant to death.  Lucinda kept practicing the dark arts in private, and revived the mentor’s corpse only to steal its power.  When she feels the overwhelming power, she ends up killing many people including her own parents and their citizens.

Eventually Malec sacrifices enough people by hanging them so that the Dark Queen can come back as Lucinda.  Now that the Dark Queen is back, will she take over all four realms like she plans to?

There were a couple of spots I was confused and the book seemed a little disjointed, but the second half of the story really drew me in and I wanted to see what happened next.  This book, as I’m sure all the other Grimm Fairy Tales, does dark, gritty storytelling, violence, and gore very well.  The art during these parts for me was the best this issue had to offer, and story-wise it was one of the more interesting parts as well.

I’m definitely not one of the people Zenescope caters their books towards, but I still enjoyed this issue.  I don’t think I’ll go back and read #1-87 anytime soon, but the refreshingly original story was good enough to make up for the average artwork and I might have to check out other issues in the future.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Pat Shand

Artist: Lalit Kumar Sharma

Publisher: Zenescope Entertainment

Price: $2.99

Release Date: 8/21/13

Review: Lobster Johnson – A Scent of Lotus #2 (of 2)

I remember the first Lobster Johnson comic I picked up in the early 00’s; I thought it was going to be funny due to the ridiculous name, but it wasn’t. Instead I was treated to a series full of action and grimy pulp. It was in my face and awesome and it’s still that way to this day. In the first part of this story we discovered that Lobster was chasing after the wrong people, but he was soon faced with the real villain. She’s a woman with some fucked up looking monkeys with masks on. After setting fire to the brothel she basically commends him for getting this far and then sics the monkeys on him. One of the monkeys uses a gun to shoot Lobster in the forearm and then they attack him like monkey’s do… by going for the face! The big dude from the previous issue busts through a wall and grabs Lobster and they fall to the street. Lobster’s boys are quick to pull guns, but he stops them. The injured man asks them to take him to his boss and there we learn what Lobster is up against. Also we learn that the cash transfers are legit and going towards a worthy cause.

The thing about this series is that the story isn’t big. There’s no master villain that Lobster is working towards finding like the rest of the Mignolaverse tends do. There’s not even a villain that lasts more than a story arc. Lobster is justice and is looking to distribute justice until he’s no longer able to. His city is like Gotham in that no matter what he does, how scary he is… there will be evil to stop. That’s the charm of this series, you’re in and out. He finds a way to win because Justice always prevails. The trick to the writing is to make the reader think that he’s not going to win. That justice won’t be served, but then to find a way to make it happen against the odds. Eventually every criminal gets burned by the claw.

This is another series in the Mignolaverse written by Mignola and Arcudi, which is a great writing team. This series fits with the rest of the universe, but it still has a very different feel from the other titles. Lately there has been a resurgence of pulp titles and while their resurrection is successful they’re missing what this story has: grit and a true sense of the genre.

Sebastián Fiumara is a great fit for this series. After all his artwork is what gives the world it’s grittiness. It’s not just the grit though as the supernatural plays a large role in LJ’s world. Fiumara is tasked with drawing demonic looking monkeys in this issue and not only that but he must make them appear to be very fast as well. He does a great job with the subject matter and his line work gives the impression that monkey’s top speed isn’t natural. I used to be a fan of monkeys with guns; don’t get me wrong I like the idea but another publisher ruined it for me. Fiumara’s monkeys with guns, is awesome. It was the first time I rooted against Johnson just because I didn’t want the monkeys to die.

With this being the second part of the series you’re better off going  back and grabbing the first issue, but don’t be afraid to jump on to the series. Sure I have a bit of a history with the series at this point, but I wouldn’t if I hadn’t taken that initial leap on the series I thought had a funny name. Boy am I glad that it didn’t turn out to be a comedy.

Score: 4/5

Writers: Mike Mignola and John Arcudi

Artist: Sebastián Fiumara

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

Price: $3.50

Release Date: 8/21/13

Review: Herobear and the Kid - The Inheritance #1 (of 5)

Review by: Kevin Reilly In its original publication in 2002, Herobear and the Kid won two Eisner awards for its writer/artist, Mike Kunkel. The awards are well-deserved: Herobear is an incredibly smart book for kids, and it has its own fascinating visual identity. Now, ka-BOOM has begun to republish the original adventures of Herobear for a new audience more than a decade since the original run. I’m really glad they did.

Herobear and the Kid follows the adventures of the titular kid, Tyler; following the death of his grandfather, Tyler’s family moves into his old house. He’s left with a stuffed bear with a pocket watch in its pocket. The story then follows Tyler as he tries to make his way through his awkward first few days of school, invoking familiar things in a really refreshing manner.

The book feels intentionally rough; with pencils so clear you can see things like the guiding lines of Tyler’s hair and the primary shapes from which characters are constructed. It’s presented in black, white, and red, with the red being used in such a special way I’d best not spoil it.

Herobear and the Kid rides the incredibly thin line that all children’s stories do. Not once does it ever talk down to its potential audience, or even attempt to appeal to an older one. It’s a comic that is emotionally heavy but still laugh-out-loud funny. As someone who wasn’t able to read Herobear in its original release, I can’t wait to see how it all turns out.

Score: 5/5

Writer/Artist/Creator: Mike Kunkel

Publisher: Boom Studios

Price; $3.99

Release Date: 8/14/13

Review: GFT – Realm Knights #1

Team books are not something you think of when a Zenescope title is mentioned, but here we are with their first team series (okay technically second because of the one-shot). It was inevitable when you think of how many heroes they’ve created existing in the same world and tackling the same evil. They’ve actually built a large connected universe that only a handful of other publishers, big or small, have been able to do. It’s a team book and as such it begins like most team books; putting the team together and establishing the threat. Now that might sound like a bad thing and if this was just another Marvel or DC title you’d probably be bored instantly by this formula of spending the entire issue gathering the forces. But this isn’t a Marvel or DC book, this is Grimm Fairy Tales; a universe that’s made up of horror and gore… and boobies. It’s actually a lot of fun to see the Grimm characters get code names and special outfits. To say that it follows the team book formula is actually a good thing in this instance.

The issue itself begins with the looming threat that the team will eventually face. We pick up in the days of the Greek gods in which Zeus and his brothers are taking out the last of the Titans. From there the story moves to the present and we see a very shady dude handing fake paper work to people inside of Ibocorp. He’s claiming to be from the Internal Affairs department and needs to perform an audit on a specific item being stored in the building. What’s actually cool here is that whatever spells he’s using actually passes along to people using his name so we don’t actually know the fake or real name of this character. It was kind of like the physic paper from Doctor Who. Since Ibocorp is a well-oiled machine they call in his audit and sure enough it’s a fake. The man tells them that he could have been in and out without harming any of them, but now he’s  basically going to kill them all. After he’s dismembered most of them he opens the storage he was seeking and we see a familiar object from the opening resting inside.

The abduction of this object is what brings the Realm Knights back together. They begin recruiting the usual members and pick up a few new ones along the way like Van Helsing and Robyn Hood. RH is actually in prison. I’m not sure if this ties into Robyn Hood: Wanted at all because I’m behind on that series, but it definitely takes place after the one shot where she fights with Red Riding Hood. The two of them almost go at it again in this issue, even though Red is the one that vouched for RH.

The writing was good; Shand does a good job of using the team book formula that you’ve no doubt read before, but it works. That’s why a lot of writers use it; it works each and every time. Again, if it was just another book from the big two you’d be bored, but it’s actually interesting here.

The art is pretty good. It carries the narrative and the action is easy to follow. The character designs are pretty cool as well. Really it’s just kind of cool to see Grimm characters in full body leather suits instead of their usual skimpy outfits. That doesn’t mean that the sex appeal isn’t still there, it’s just different. It’s probably one of the best aspects of the issue. The coloring is soft throughout the issue and there’s basically no lighting effects giving each panel a flat look. If it had been more vibrant and sharp the art would have popped off the page, but instead it’s muted and dull.

I was surprised by this issue and I’ll definitely be checking out the rest of the mini-series. Frankly I think it’s getting to the point that this is what Zenescope needs to freshen up their universe. I think it would be very interesting to see more of these minis pop up when danger approaches so hopefully it does well for the company so that they’ll revisit it. Now if you’re just into superhero titles you may not like this book still, it is after all a Grimm Fairy Tales story meaning it’s not about fighting crime or super villains. But still give it a chance you might end up liking it more because of it.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Pat Shand

Artist: Butch Mapa

Colors: Kevin Volo

Publisher: Zenescope Entertainment

Price: $3.99

Release Date: 8/21/13

Start The Morning Off With Some Black Widow Cosplay

Usually I don't post Black Widow cosplay because there's an abundance of it thanks to the Marvel films, but this is a good-looking Black Widow. That's GillyKins as BW, with photos by ASPhotography for Cosplayers Canada. Good morning Bastards... try not to get it everywhere.

Via Geek x Girls

DC Nation Continues To Roll Out The Shorts - Doom Patrol Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dZ-lsXf7Ak Why are these shorts better than the entire DC Comics line? It's not that the comics are bad... well not all of them, but these shorts are awesome and frankly remind me why I liked DC Comics to begin with. You'll have to watch the DC Nation block this weekend to see the ending or wait until Monday when it finds its way online.

Disney Princesses Reimagined as Marvel vs. Capcom Characters

I've grown tired of the Disney Princesses as "fill in the blank", but this one still caught my attention. How could it not, it's pretty fucking cool. It's from artist Mike V, who basically took Marvel vs Capcom characters and replaced them with the princesses. It works so check it out.

Via Design Taxi

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII - The Savior's Choice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iBEmlhqEi8#t=15 Well the next installment in Final Fantasy XIII returns next year and Square Enix announced and Ultimate Edition to go along with it. It comes with all three games in the series, an action figure of course, the soundtrack and art stuff. Let's be honest you want the figure and the art stuff. The edition doesn't have a firm US pricing, but the Yen to US conversion puts it at around $260. There will be a solo edition as well for those that have kept up with the series and don't want the action figure and art stuff.

Via Anime New Network

GameCom: Lego Marvel Superheroes Trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67RWEWEQPAg Everyone's pimping this video because of the five seconds at the end with Galactus... the rest of it isn't too bad for a Lego game.

Honest Trailer: Star Trek Into Darkness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B22Uy7SBe4 Well it was bound to happen and even though basically nail the movie... I still really liked it and if you don't then Simon Pegg says "Fuck You" and I'm inclined to agree with him.

Review: Aphrodite IX #4

Oh I liked this issue. Some of the shit hit the fan, but we were thrown for a loop so expect more in the next issue. It’s definitely going to be good as the inevitable war moves even closer. Also that cover has nothing to do with this issue… why don’t I care? I know because it’s awesome looking! Anyways let’s get going on this bad ass issue. Well the gig is up for Aphrodite IX. Not only does she know about her blackouts, but she’s aware that she’s somehow responsible for Lina’s death even if she doesn’t remember doing it the evidence points to her. As Marcus mourns his dead lover, his friend T’Mark arrives. He informs him that he smelled traces of Aphrodite at or around all of the crime scenes and on the bodies. They begin a manhunt for Aphrodite who is still in Genesis, but is in stealth mode. Upon hearing about her scent her programing begins masking her odor.

At our other civilization we tune into Aphrodite’s disgusting handler who finds it quite amusing that she’s following Marcus around undetected. Also we learn that Aphrodite has been sending a frequency to their base that has essentially mapped out Genesis and highlighted weak points in the structure for them to attack. They begin gearing up for war as all of their plans have come to fruition, but there is still one more task for Aphrodite… kill Marcus.

This was a good issue for a couple of reasons. Aphrodite’s narrative remains as strong as it did in previous issues, but this time we’re not seeing her fighting with herself as much. She mentions that it’s still occurring, but we’re not rammed with counter narration as much. The coolest aspect of this issue for me was T’Mark. Sure his character was kind of convenient to the story, but there was something cool about his addition. Though he was convenient I think he was needed and I liked his CSI skills. Also I have to agree with the evil handler that Aphrodite running around following Marcus in stealth was pretty damn cool.

The art is its usual fantastic self. Sejic is a great fit for this series and because it’s set in the future it gives him the chance to be very creative. His dog creations are very realistic looking, especially the teeth. Also again I go to T’Mark. He has a cool design and you can see that he’s evolved differently than most of the other inhabitants from Genesis. Sejic’s not the most incredible visual storyteller, but he’s definitely improving. The scene with Aphrodite being taken over by her handler were some of his best on the series thus far.

I like Top Cow’s new formula of producing quality titles consistently. It’s something they’ve been struggling to do, but with titles like this and their other core series, they’re coming around quickly. If you haven’t checked out this series it really is worth the time. It’s beautiful to look at and entertaining from start to finish. It also has real heart to its story and that’s a huge change from previous installments of this franchise.

Score: 4/5

Writer: Matt Hawkins

Artist: Stjepan Sejic

Publisher: Top Cow and Image Comics

Price: $2.99

Release Date: 8/21/13

Review: Dark Horse Presents #27

Time to check in with Dark Horse’s Eisner winning anthology again; for me there have been a lot of hits and misses with the series as of late, but that’s to be expected given the formula. It’s always a series worth checking out though even if it’s only for a handful of stories that you find enjoyable. This issue starts off with David Lapham’s “Squish” a Juice Squeezers tale. I raved about Lapham’s return to writing and drawing in my last review and you can expect more of the same. His stories always excite and “wow” me with their creativity. In this chapter the kids go head on against the bugs that have taken over Samnee’s orange grove, but soon they’re attacked by bugs that are usually passive. The story is fun, the characters interactions are charming and interesting and the art is to die for. Lapham’s style is masterful and Loughridge’s colors complement the style and story.

Niles and Menton3’s Nosferatu Wars continues. It’s a simple story, but it works. It’s a great setting for vampires and Niles brings his usual flair of storytelling to this tale. If there’s anyone you want writing a vampire story its Niles. Menton3 is Menton3, his style is great and you either love it or love it.

The next story is written and drawn by Peter Bagge, get pumped! His story is called Found Fathers Funnies Presents: Alexander Hamilton in Mr. Unpopularity; which is a great title. It’s basically a comedic retelling of events of Alexander Hamilton’s life after the revolutionary war. It reveals that he was basically a douche bag and that he gave every reason to dislike him. I loved it and found it be quite funny. Bagge’s character expressions are what really stole the show. If you liked Reset you’ll love this short.

A new edition to the issue is Mr. Monster. This is another funny tale which followed “Mr. Unpopularity” perfectly. Basically Mr. Monster is a vigilante that does a lot of collateral damage in the name of justice, but decides to remove his dark side forever after getting a lot of complaints about his destruction… which has mixed results. I enjoyed the pacing of the story and the art work had a pulpy look to it, but it had great comedic time as well.

The issue wraps with Hunter Quaid. Quaid and Fenril are trapped in a bunker and though we can’t see what’s coming for them, Fenril makes it sound bad. Quaid tells him to keep it down because he’s trying to get drunk and then goes into a story from his past. It’s entertaining and while I didn’t get a sense for the overall series narrative, I still enjoyed the tale. It’s over the top and managed to capture the perfect balance between action and comedy. The art was solid and does a great job with the physical humor and carrying the narrative.

There’s a handful of other stories that I’ve either ran out of things to say about them or I skipped myself. Not every issue of this anthology is going to be filled with “must reads”, but as I said in the beginning it’s always worth checking out. There are always surprises to discover like Mr. Unpopularity or Mr. Monster which probably wouldn’t have a home otherwise. Overall you should buy it and decide if you like the stories I skipped for yourself and enjoy the ones I did at the same time.

Score: 3/5

Writers: David Lapham, Steve Niles, Peter Bagge, Michael T. Gilbert and Janet Gilbert, Ron Randall, Phil Stanford, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Jane Espenson, Andrew Vachss and Mike Richardson, Donny Cates and Eliot Rahal.

Artist: David Lapham, menton3, Pter Bagge, Ken Bruzenak, Ron Randall, Patric Reynolds, Steve Lieber, Karl Moline, Dominic Reardon, Melissa Curtin.

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

Price: $7.99

Release Date: 8/21/13

Review: TMNT- New Animated Adventures #2

Watching the TMNT show they never really end the evil Snakeweed’s story, so it is totally rad finding his ending told through this new medium. I always think it is wise to incorporate the two genres and here they mix so perfect it is hard not to get hooked. Reading the first issue I thought most readers could get by with not watching the show. I have changed my mind and decided that in order to fully grasp the personalities and the story line you kind of have to watch the show. I think this is a benefit especially when the show takes breaks. This is only one of many reasons why I love this comic, but probably the most important one is that any age can enjoy this read. Sometimes with me being so cool and mature (not), it is tough to find or enjoy younger generation comics that I can give out to kids. Here, I can recommend this series to anyone, young and old, with the results being the same; they love it. The stories are just so cute and I find myself reading the characters in different voices, this is all done in my head though.

Dario Brizuela brings a fantastic art style that copies the show perfectly. The Turtles are adorable and appeal to the kids with their innocent look while also appealing to the adults with their ninja butt kicking moves. Heather Breckel does an amazing job coloring the comic bringing in the rich colors from the show. I am just as entertained reading this as I am watching all the action on television. I also think it is important that a writer from the show is also doing the comic to keep the same flow of things. I really just have to give a shout out to this team because they seem to have a good handle on things keeping the show and comic relatable with one another.

The Turtles find themselves in a bit of a weed infested New York when Snakeweed is trying to take over their town. The boys decide that he must be destroyed, but only after Shedder gives them word of advice that nature helps to bring everyone together, so be cautious in bringing down this terrorist of that very thing. Leonardo takes this advice to heart seeing that he doesn’t fully understand nature’s powers. The best part of this issue is April taking over Channel 6 News to get her face on TV. It is a cute play on her future character.

All the characters are pretty much the same which shouldn’t sound like a bad thing. It works surprisingly well, but Mikey brings home the cake with his one liners. He and Raphael couldn’t be a better comedic team. I couldn’t see kids and parents not getting hyped up about this series. It offers everything the show does and gives the opportunity to let the kids read a little.

Score: 4/5

Writer: Kenny Byerly

Artist: Dario Brizuela

Publisher: IDW Publishing

Price: $3.99

Release Date: 8/21/13

Review: Chin Music #2

To be frank (“but your name’s Steve!”), when I first read Chin Music #2, I didn’t dig it. I’m not sure why; you’d think a story about otherworldly vigilantes set in prohibition era Chicago would immediately appeal, especially when you see the names attached to it. But when I put it down, something felt choked or clunky about the story, like it was having a hard time keeping up with the dynamism of the art. However, on subsequent readings for this review, I have to say that this issue has grown on me, and provided it doesn’t take another three months for its successor to come out, I think I can see myself really getting into Chin Music ... which is my new favorite euphemism for oral sex by the way.

This issue follows Eliot Ness as he investigates the seemingly impossible assassination of big Al Capone, who tragically passed away after complications from the magic bullet head wound he contracted last issue. All of Ness’ evidence points to the mysterious private detective Shaw, who we last saw, in his previous life, moonlighting as some kind of mummy genie zombie thing. Featuring a bit of tasteful cunnilingus and not a small amount of slaughterous mafioso reprisal, Chin Music #2 is a sexy little supernatural ride through an already dangerously interesting period, and it works pretty damn well.

The writing here is simple and hits with a blunt thud, like a slapjack to the back of the skull. It may not be too pretty, but it also doesn’t need to be. This is street-level stuff here; sure there are powers at play both higher and lower, but so far this book is still huddled beneath its cracked asphalt exterior, and that’s okay. Any gap in text is completely swallowed and forgotten within the real star of Chin Music, Tony Harris’ art.

Fuck me, this guy’s stuff has some proper stink rubbed on it, huh? Visually, this book pops large while casting a vast shadow. I love how his characters and their world have this hand-blown glass texture about them, and how he challenges each of his pages with daring composition, vacillating through a broad range of blistering, aggressive color. You’d be forgiven for thinking that at any minute, bullets and blood might come tumbling from the page.

Altogether, it’s a dizzying visual experience, and it comes together like magic throughout most of the book, only occasionally sacrificing a measure of clarity and flow. I was particularly baffled by the scene which features Shaw’s penis quite prominently. Is that actually him? I assume so, given what else happens, but if so, where did all of his tattoos go? It could be an astral projection or something, I’m not sure, but I admit it threw me for a loop. It was one of the rare times I felt a little lost in this book, but I was easily able to jump back on with a valiant cry of “eh, whatever.”

I’m a changed man from Chin Music’s first issue and Image can officially count me in as on-board. Last time was an ill-plotted, convoluted mess without much help in its backstory, but in this, its second issue, the series seems to have found its footing. I’m hoping that the third issue will see the art and story congealing more organically and that Niles continues to more purposefully chart his course, as he has done here. If they do, I’ll be making sweet music with this book again, sooner (hopefully) rather than later.

Score: 4/5

Writer: Steve Niles

Artist: Tony Harris

Publisher: Image Comics

Price $2.99

Release Date: 8/21/13

Clueless Gamer: Splinter Cell - Blacklist - Conan Plays with J. Cole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dOLdnygA28 If you thought the normal Clueless Gamers were funny just wait until you see him with a guest. It's hilarious!

Dual Review: Bloodshot #0

There’s a big changing of the guards happening on this series and during that transition we get a one-off zero issue. Valiant has done an incredible job with their zero issues and so we have high hopes going into this issue. Also Matt Kindt is writing it so there are high hopes anyways. Since there are two of us reviewing this issue it means double scores and lots of opinions! We’re going to start with a blurb about the issue from Valiant: Discover the declassified secret history of Project Rising Spirit's Bloodshot program and its most successful soldier - as told by superstar creator Matt Kindt (MIND MGMT, Justice League of America) and fan favorite artist ChrisCross (Superman/Batman)! From the darkest days of World War II and Korea, and through the hell of Vietnam and Afghanistan, Bloodshot's origin leaves a bloody trail of discarded lives and forgotten families. But which memories are real? Which families? Which children? Is Bloodshot many men...or no man at all? Is he simply a soulless killing machine or something more? Who is responsible? And why have the engineered the most dangerous weapon ever conceived by man? This issue holds the answers… but also reveals that we may have been asking the wrong questions all along…

Eric:

Here is what I say is wow… just wow. You get some answers what is behind Bloodshot, the core of everything the project is; from all the problems and all the solutions to try to come up with the perfect soldier for Project Rising Spirit. The black and white of everything Bloodshot is to his core. This issue tackles a big step and handles it nicely.

I love how this gives a history and timeline of Bloodshot. It moves from the Frankenstein Bloodshot to the secret agent to the super soldier. It outlines every point that makes up Bloodshot and trying to make him as human as possible. This marks the story of one architect trying to give Bloodshot a soul and conscience he was missing for years. It outlines everything perfectly. The art is very detailed and tells the story very well with the narrative. It captures the emotion or lack of the emotion of Bloodshot and the hardness of him. The stress and worry of the architect comes alive. I’m not too sure if I can say enough about this book; pick it up and pick it up now.

Dustin:

Well, being a huge Matt Kindt fan I loved this issue instantly. It had his flair all over it, but still fit with the Valiant Universe. No offense to the creative team taking over the series, but I’d love to read more of Kindt on Bloodshot. He uses a very simple, but affective narrative technique for the issue. It’s narrated through the notes of the scientist that we’re following throughout the story. It’s clever because he even explains what will happen to his notes in the event of his death. The story itself is amazing. Kindt has found a way to work Bloodshot’s past into this new universe by having previous designs of the character become different stages in perfecting the ultimate solider. Did I mention that it’s clever?

I miss seeing ChrisCross on interior pages. He has a fantastic style and while I never would have thought of him and Kindt as the perfect pairing, they are. They are. Since the narrative and story are basically contained to the notes of the character we’re following, ChrisCross has to make the visuals interesting and hold our attention almost on his own. He does a great job of doing just that and the calm narrative is complimented by the action and violence of the art.

It’s a fantastic zero issue and the perfect jumping on point for any new reader, but if you miss it you’ll get another shot next month… but really don’t miss this issue it’s great.

Scores: 5/5 and 5/5

Writer: Matt Kindt

Artist: ChrisCross

Price: $3.99

Release Date: 8/21/13