Review: Dark Matter #1

When it comes to Sci-Fi, I personally enjoy a bit of humor mixed into the story. No matter how serious the subject matter is you need humor in order to ground the book in some sort of reality for the reader. The easiest way to do that is with humor. Sci-Fi is full of ideas that appear impossible at the time, so if there isn’t something a reader/viewer can attach to then it’s less human and harder to connect to and enjoy. In other words, humor makes it so you can wrap your head around a talking robot. Dark Matter was not only interesting and a very cool story, but it made me laugh… a lot! The opening sequence takes us into a space ship that’s blown a part of its exterior haul and affected the life support. This awakens the group of people locked in sleep chambers and one man in particular rushes to the bridge to restore the life support. He makes it there but is unsure as to what needs to be done. He’s then kicked in the head and forced out-of-the-way by a woman who then restores the life support. Before the two can rest easy a third man comes in and points his dual pistols at them. He asks them who they are and both give the same answer, “I don’t know.” Fortunately for them… neither does he.

This story cracked me up. I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to be laughing at the dialog as much as I did, but it was just too humorous not to. The overall story and writing was spot on. There is just the right amount of mystery/reveals and the characters are all interesting. It’s clear that each character has a certain skill set be it firearms, hand to hand combat or computers. It makes them an interesting group to be thrown together with no memories. The writing team of Joseph Mallozzi and Paul Mullie have created an interesting Sci-Fi world and dumped a mystery smack dab in the middle.

With a Sci-Fi comic the art work is as important as the story. It's why a lot of these movie and TV Sci-Fi shows that are adapted into comics end up so poor. Dark Matter does not suffer from this problem. Artist Garry Brown has a great style for the book. He uses an interesting technic in which backgrounds and lower areas of the panel are left without much detail or completely blank altogether. Sure you get a few floating people, but something about it really works. As for the backgrounds, the lack of detail works to keep the frame from being a darkened messed. Brown’s characters are very detailed and if both foreground and background were detailed the same amount neither would stand out.

If you like Sci-Fi, but like me avoid Sci-Fi comics like the plague then don’t avoid this book. This is probably one of the most interesting Sci-Fi premises to hit comics in years and I can’t wait to see how it concludes in the fourth issue. Even if you’re not a Sci-Fi fan I would still recommend this book since it’s so well put together.

Score: 5/5

Writers: Joseph Mallozzi and Paul Mullie Artist: Garry Brown Publisher: Dark Horse Comics Price: $3.50 Release Date: 1/11/2012

Review: Robocop: Roadtrip #1

This is a new series from Dynamite about Robocop. Where else can I begin with this book, I just picked it up on whim and now I'm wondering why. It’s not all bad but I'm not too sure it was worth what I paid. I also picked it up because the other Robocop series was highly rated (Not the Terminator one). We start out with Robocop about to enter a fight and bust some heads when out comes a gold Robocop. A battle of two Robocops? Awesome! Even better when Murphy punches the head off the gold one. The other Robocop was powered by the owner of O.C.P from remote location as we find out. He wants Robocop’s body so he can live longer. The mission for Robocop is looking for communication to the outside world that isn’t dominated by O.C.P. As Robocop heads back to the refugee base we find out his secret.

The story has substance to it and can be good looking into it but as a reader you feel lost. That and also impart that the art doesn’t distinguished well between living and non living. The book is a decent read but I had a problem with how it was portrayed. Maybe you aren’t suppose to know the difference between living and non living to get Robobcop's perspective but it make it hard to follow in the lay out. But who won’t want a Gold Robocop though.

Score: 1/5

Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment Price: $3.99

Review: Channel Evil #1

Eric, one of our contributors, is actually a good friend of mine off the site. After I posted about Renegade Art Entertainment’s “Buy it all cheap” sale, he was kind enough to gift me the set of Renegade books that included all of their number one issues. Sadly, I’ve yet to read through all of them, but I did sit down and enjoy Channel Evil. The story is about a man who has his own cable show. It’s the typical format of celebrity interviews with mostly unknown stars that are on the up and up. This particular show, he has a blonde beauty that’s becoming very popular. His first question is about her nervous flatulence which completely throws her off. He continues to press her about the matter until she farts on air. Embarrassed the woman runs from the stage and forces our host Jez Mason to take a break. That’s the big difference between Mason’s show and other talk shows; he’s there to embarrass the guest. In a way he’s a bit like a radio shock-jock, trying to get a reaction and not caring about what happens to anyone else just his ratings.

After the show Mason and his girlfriend head to a Channeling. Mason’s girl wants to go and he’s curious to see the performance to book the act on his show. The woman who performs the channeling is named Conni Verona and everything about her act has Mason in a fit. He’s convinced that she’s just a scam artist and invites her to his show after he’s convinced he can debunk her. The next day he sits down with Conni and of course hits her with the hard questions first. She deflects them by asking Mason to try to channel, saying that anyone can do it. Sure enough, Mason makes contact with someone who threatens everyone in sight. He snaps out of it, but he can’t remember anything that he said. Conni warns him that he's awoken something old, dark and powerful.

I really liked this book. It wasn't perfect, but it was very good. There’s definitely a lot of pacing issues with the story. Parts of it seemed very unnecessary, like the entire page dealing with Conni’s bodyguard. I really like the concept and I’m looking forward to how it plays out. Writer Alan Grant does a good job of making the show believable and loading Mason’s character up with a huge prick factor. Nothing about this guy comes across sympathetic and that’s a very good thing. With one issue we already know Mason and now we can join him on his journey rather than try to figure out what makes him tick. The girlfriend is an under-developed character for sure, but I think she’ll come as more of a Beatty Ross to Mason’s Hulk. “No Mason, don’t do it!” and then Mason leaves and we follow him more. In a way the story reminds me of werewolf stories. The character is bitten and doesn't know it and then starts attacking people.

I enjoyed the black and white art style of the book. A lot of the times indie books try to do color pages and the results look terrible due to the colorist. Channel Evil is in all black and white and it makes the book look so much better than if it were in color. Shane Oakley creates some wonderful pages that deviate from the modern panel set up in comics today. Each page has a very open feel to it as if Oakley created the entire two page spread as one and tried to have the entire page flow together. It’s very stylized with its thick black inking and character designs.

Channel Evil has a pretty cool concept behind it and I’m looking forward to what path Mason heads down as this issues leaves him at a crossroads. You can pick the book up either from Renegade in digital or print or digitally from Graphicly if that's where your collection is, sorry no Comixology on this one. I enjoyed this book and will definitely check out the second issue after I work my way through the rest of the pile. It’s a fun concept for a thriller/horror title making for a fast and enjoyable read.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Alan Grant Artist: Shane Oakley Publisher: Renegade Arts Entertainment Price: $3.99

Episode 11: The Return

Oh man, I shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to, step to! That's right, the CBMFP has returned for the 2012 season! With it, a few new changes within the podcast itself to kick off our slowly but surely (and don't call me Shirley) evolution into a pretty okay website that deals with comics. So we hope you like it, we hope you tell your friends and always listen responsibly! Enjoy!

Review: Deadhorse #2

Well it took me a little longer than I would have liked, but I’m back with a review for Deadhorse #2. Let me start off by saying that I love the cover and that this particular cover is what got me really excited to read the series. There is something creepy and awesome about the family portrait with bird heads and the woman’s hidden face. Both issue one and two have very strong cover designs which match the book perfectly. The first issue of Deadhorse scored some pretty high marks, so how did the second issue stack up? The issue opens with a very serious looking man standing in front of his office window. He’s Senator Robert Gadsworth and he’s expecting a call from his father, unfortunately for him it’s just his secretary. She wishes him happy birthday on his father’s behalf, while Robert doses off remembering a hand puppet that was giving to him by a Mr. Pike.

Elsewhere in Alaska, a young girl is leaving home. Well that’s not 100% right, she’s running away from home and really her parents don’t care. Her name is Elise and she makes it to the bus stop to leave town. While waiting for the bus to arrive a chatterbox named Edgar sits down next to her and begins chatting her ear off. Their conversation is cut short as the Mr. Pike we’re familiar with (probably the son of the other Mr. Pike), enters the bus stop. In the background we see the Senator at a press meeting playing with the puppet from his childhood. As Mr. Pike and our two new characters leave to board the bus the Senator pulls out a gun and kills himself on live TV.

I could really go on some more about the story, but I think I’ll stop right there. There’s another great character introduced in the issue that is hilarious and cool rolled into one. I still can’t believe that this book wasn’t picked up by Image or some other indie company because it really deserves a widespread release. According to writer/co-creator Eric Grissom, they want to do a print version after the first story arc is done so help with the sales. I really hope they do because I would love to own a physical copy of this book.

Grissom has me hooked with his writing. I love the serious tone of the book mixed with the dark comedy elements. The new character comes across Venture Brothers inspired which is a real treat. Grissom adds a few characters with this issue, but they were so interesting that I almost didn’t want to get back to the main story. Hopefully they’ll play a role in the plot so that they can develop more.

I still absolutely love the art style of this book; re-reading it for review made me appreciate the art even more. The opening page with the Senator in his office is the best example of the strength of the art. There are large mini-blinds in the window and artist Phil Sloan gives the scene a consistency by having the direction of light cast a shadow on the room and Senator. But what’s impressive is that the shades are lighter on the Senator while being much darker on the rest of the room. It’s probably something you’ve witnessed in real life or movies a dozen or more times and never realized. But Sloan has taken this very simple lighting and made it so real that it’s just as important to the scene as the character is. Also I still love the edgy cartoon look the book has and that will never change.

I could continue to gush about this book, but I won’t. I will demand that you either pull up Graphicly on your tablet or smart phone and plop down the dollar it costs for the issue, or head over to Eric and Phil’s site Deadhorse.com and purchase it directly from them. Whichever way you choose just do it. The third issue isn’t out yet, but when it is you can bet your ass I’ll be there to read it and every issue after.

Score: 5/5

Writer: Eric Grissom Artist: Phil Sloan Publisher: Deadhorse Comics Price: $ 3.99

Review: The Theater #3

I LOVE this Cover! The Theater is a series from Zenescope that for me has had its ups and downs. I found issue one to be one of the most refreshing interpretations of a zombie tale that I’ve read in a very long time. I gave that book a five—something we here at Comic Bastards take very seriously. The second did absolutely nothing for me and that made me sad. The forth (review forthcoming) followed the same suit, in where I didn’t get too excited for it. But how do I feel about issue three you ask? We’ll let’s talk about that.

Welcome back to that empty theater in New Jersey that houses horror on an epic scale. As it closes for the night two co-ed co-workers take advantage of the locked doors and clean something other than the seats. Meanwhile on the theater’s silver screen, Tim Bailey sits a broken man who unloads his problems on his psychiatrist about a messy divorce. Poor Tim’s real problem and story start off with a bit of insomnia. He explains in the mists of another restless night he notices a small hole in his bedroom’s ceiling. Tim chalks it up to his run of bad luck and gets off his ass to fix it. Now on a ladder with the tools to fix it, he puts his hand into the hole and doesn’t feel a thing. No wood, no nails, nothing but empty space that goes on forever. He blames his lack of sleep for such an outlandish thought and quickly repairs the hole. The next day when Tim awakes the whole has returned, bigger than ever.

Scared that he’s losing a grasp on reality, Tim reaches out to his nasty ex-wife for support. She blows him off and insults his masculinity but promises to stop by later. Still perplexed by the hole, Tim rounds up a local cat and places it in a box then places the box into the opening. When he takes the box back, the cat is gone and the box is covered with a black slime. Frightened, Tim burns the box and gets a second idea when finds an old camcorder in the garage. He puts it on record and places it into the void but the machine records nothing but darkness. Determined to find an answer, Tim rifles through the attic looking for anything to make sense of the hole. When he finds nothing, Tim receives a call from his daughter who is on her way home from college. By that time Tim’s ex arrives and let’s just says Tim gives her an extra close look at the hole…not like that, but you know what I’m talking about.

The best thing about issue three of The Theater is that it has this Creepshow/Tales from the Dark Side feel to it and I love that. It’s such a simple stand alone story that is so much fun to read. You know what it really reminds me of, and all of my hardcore horror fans will know what I’m talking about. In the movie, entitled “House” from 1986, when Roger opens the medicine cabinet and there is a black void and he climbs into it to look for his son while facing his nightmares. It even makes me think of Silent Hill: The Room (my favorite in the series btw) and how they too, ripped off that whole “hole” idea. The protagonist, Henry had this massive black hole appearing in his bathroom which was a gateway to his own personal Silent Hill.

When it all comes down to it this issue of The Theater: The Hole is in good company when it comes to an awesome story. Most of all, this is the kind of books I want Zenescope to do all of the time!

Score: 4/5

Writer: Raven Gregory Artists: Novo Malgapo and Robert Gill Publisher: Zenescope Entertainment Price: $3.99

Review: Valen The Outcast #2

There was one scene that I absolutely loved in this issue; it was pretty damn cool and very clever. The first issue of this series was good and definitely worth the dollar price tag attached to it. The second issue is also very good and worth the full price of admission this time around so don’t let that deter you from picking it up; especially if you enjoyed the mixture of war, magic and the undead! The story opens with some foreshadowing of events in which one of Korrus Null’s lackeys checks in with him. He’s hot on Valen’s ass, but in case he fails they have a back-up. Valen and his grab bag of people arrive at a bridge that is being heavily protected on the other side. Valen’s choice is to storm the bridge or travel a week around it. He chooses to storm it and is met with archer’s arrows which nearly take his heart out. He’s undead, but if you strike his heart than he’s done for good. This bad fortune results in the three of them ending up captured by Flemmyng, a stubby man with an army of his own trying to cross the bridge.

Zjanna is taken to Flemmyng’s personal chambers while Valen and Cordovan are left to lead a small band of villagers to use to cross the bridge. This is the result of a deal that Valen and Flemmyng made, but Valen knows it’s going to end with one of them double-crossing the other. At this point the coolest part of the book happens as Cordovan uses all of his money to bribe a blacksmith into making a protective casing for Valen’s heart. Then Cordovan carves open Valen’s chest and installs the sucker. It was pretty awesome.

There was one part of the story that I didn’t care for, but it’s the cliffhanger of the book so I’ll leave it there. I’m sure that the results will be pretty typical which in the context of the story is okay, but not the most original idea. The world and concept are so lush that I really hoped that the overall plot would be better, but it seems that Michael Alan Nelson always falls into the most obvious pitfalls of storytelling. He’s a decent writer, but if there is an obvious choice to make he takes it and it leaves very little in the way of surprises for the reader. Even still I enjoyed what the book had to offer and really my only grip is that sometimes I have no idea what a character’s name is. For instance I had to reread the book in order to find Cordovan’s name for the review. Otherwise he’s just the blue coat guy to me.

The art is very good and frankly does a lot of the work in making this issue good. Matteo Scalera is a very solid artist, but brings flair of passion to his work. I really enjoy the action sequences that he draws as they give the book a sense of motion and excitement. You want Valen to crush his enemies and that’s really what this Conan-esc book should be doing. The only thing Matteo struggles with is the character of Zjanna. She’s very inconsistent throughout the issue as it stands out from the rest of the panels.

I’m enjoying this book and I’m still looking forward to the next issues. My hope is that Nelson has some surprises in store for the reader down the road. In these early issues its okay to set the stage and have some of the “usual”, but that’s not going to cut it with future issues. If you’re looking for a good hack and slash sword book though this is the one grab.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Michael Alan Nelson Artist: Matteo Scalera Publisher: Boom Studios Price: $3.99 Release Date: 1/4/12

WTF Review: Bad Girls Club

Do you remember when you first saw the Suicide Girls comic and thought,” My God, what in the Hell is that? How did a bunch of tatted wanna be burlesque chicks become a group of super spies?” It sucked right? Well take that thought and amp that shit up to eleven because it’s time to join The Bad Girls Club!

The only thing I was able to figure out from this is that these women come from all around the Continental United States, all States with major cites that is. Then they all convene in a lush mansion to prove who the biggest and sassiest whore is, stereotype Bad Girl is! After the girls get all dolled up to go and smash at duh club they say the phrase “This Is off the hook” about a billion times.

The night starts off smoothly until the girls hit their first “Oh Snap” moment! Shit gets real because the Diamond Skulls Girls run up in the club and start to raise some hell! But that’s cool because the girls all have super powers to fight it out at the club…classy.

That’s it, I tried to read this entire book but in the middle of this wonder turd that is The Bad Girls Club: The Comic, my head exploded.  I just wanted to “Live out Loud” and now I have brain damage. Thanks IDW!

Score: WTF?!

Writer: Sean Taylor

Artist: Martheus Wade

Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99

Review: Mud Man #2

I honestly wanted to have this review up yesterday, but Image sent the book out late on Tuesday and I’m technically on vacation until the end of the week. I know you probably don’t care, but from a personal stand point from someone who promoted the first issue so much due to my excitement and joy for it, it’s frustrating to then have to wait to promote the second issue. This issue is what I call a “flip of the coin” type story, in which we replay the major events from the first issue and see them from another set of eyes connecting the dots. Same coin just a different side. We begin in that same abandoned house by the beach, but this time we find our bank robbers are just moving in as they try to keep a low profile from the police. They’re in the house for a few minutes when they hear a crash from upstairs. That crash being Owen discovering the “Bat Cave”, they chase him away until they reach the mud and one of them fires two shots at him. We know what happens from there. The story continues in a montage of scenes with the crooks hanging out in town bidding their time. They return to the house to find Owen’s dad (the Policeman) checking out the spray paint, they jump the gun and hit him over the head taking him hostage.

Personally I’m not big on this style of storytelling (flip of the coin that is); it always feels like it's short-changing the reader. That’s why in movies they save it for the last five minutes of the flick. Even still I found it to be rather enjoyable with the two idiot crooks at the center of their own mistakes. It didn’t do a lot in the way of building Owen's character, but it was fun and set the stage for future events. It was good because it didn’t feel like it was following a formula, but rather continuing to ease readers into this world. This is the start of a new superhero and he doesn’t have a goal, an arch-enemy or even a clear understanding to how he’s still alive. The best he can do is throw mud in people’s faces and run away and frankly there is something cool about that.

Grist does a great job with this issues art and story. The panels set up for several of the pages were in the vein of The Spirit and made simple scenes interesting to look at. Grist is in harmony with both the story and the art and that makes for a fun read.

The thing about Mud Man is that it isn’t perfect, it has room to grow and really it’s still something very special. It’s a comic that I want to see mature from issue to issue. I want to find out where it will be in twenty plus issues because it’s strangely unique. This issue may not have grabbed me as much as the first did, but it was still a heck of a read. Again, this is something special in the comic industry today and you want to get in on it before its everywhere and you're left in the mud.

Score: 3/5

Writer/Artist: Paul Grist Colorist: Bill Crabtree Publisher: Image Comics Price: $3.50 Release Date: 1/4/12

Review: Action Comics #5

With every reboot there needs to be a retelling of the origin story. Since nobody knows how Superman came to Earth, DC Comics decided to disclose that well-kept secret. Action Comics #5 reveals how Jor-El came to Earth for the sake of the New 52. And it sucked worse than dinner for two at Appleby’s.

I thought Flash was the only book to feature a one-panel appearance of the title character, but obviously I was wrong. I think there’s been a memo sent around the DC offices stating that the company hates their readers so much that it needs to make comics where the title hero doesn’t do dick in the ish. That’s what’s happening in their comics.

Okay, missing Superman aside let me break down why you should vote with your wallet and refuse this shit the way women refuse my pick up lines. The dialogue is clown fucking silly. Red nose and all. Here’s the line spoken by Lara when she sees movement in the Phantom Zone:

“There are threatening figures emerging through the colorless fog.”

Did George Lucas guest write that drivel? Even worse, Jonathan Kent has been written to sound like a West Virginia guidance counselor:

“Reckon I found me a spaceman.”

This is what passes for a flagship comic? How disappointing.

If you didn’t know, Jor-El rockets to Earth to escape the exploding Krypton. The twist is his space pod is fitted with Brainiac guidance systems. Okay, that’s an interesting addition. If it weren’t in the 3,245 retelling of a tale we all know too well. Later on, a group of mysterious robbers pilfer the Krypton engine.

And Superman doesn’t play any part in this except to lay his hand on the ship that transported him to Earth. If you didn’t feel cheated enough, a pointless short story is tacked on the end where Jonathan and Martha Kent find out that can’t have kids. The episode reminded me of a retarded attempt to copy the movie Up and try to evoke some emotion out of the readers. It worked. I felt angry.

These books aren’t doing anything special to hold-off the inevitable death of the comic book industry. In fact, they are speeding up the process.

Score: 1/5

Writer: Grant Morrison Artist: Andy Kubert Publisher: DC Comics Price: $3.99

Review: Godzilla Legends #3

The Godzilla Legends series doesn’t focus on Godzilla, but that’s not a bad thing. Periphery monsters get their own stories. In this issue, the underused kaiju Titanosaurus gets the spotlight. The United Nations enlists Tristan, a young man gifted with amazing mind-reading abilities. The young lady responsible for the recruitment is Miki Saegusa. G-Fans will recognize her as the mentalist who had a connection with Godzilla in the Heisei series of films.

Tristan seems to have a psychic connection to Titanosaurus, the aquatic menace from The Terror of Mechagodzilla. During the training, Tristan brings forth the monster from the ocean’s floor. And then aliens abduct the boy and the monster.

The Problems:

1) There’s too much dialogue. Kaiju don’t talk in Godzilla films (except for the American dub of 1972’s Godzilla on Monster Island). With the monsters having nothing to say, the writers overcompensate by having the humans say way too much.

2) Titanosaurus barely appears in this comic. Here’s a tip for writers of the Godzilla comics: watch the films and learn the formula. The monster shows up, the humans react, then the monster stomps model buildings and fights mecha and other monsters. Godzilla Legends suffers from an under use of that formula and the monsters. That’s a shame because Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters works so well.

The Cool:

1) There’s an awesome two-page spread of the aliens constructing an army of Mechagodzillas. Additionally, they are gathering troops and space tanks. On top of all that, Titanosaurus fights his shackles in a pool prison. The pages took my breath away with the war that the images imply.

There’s a promise of something amazing building up in the storylines of this comic. The main problem is that the storytelling in this particular Godzilla books needs polishing.

Score: 2/5

Writer: Mike Raicht Artist: Tony Parker Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99

Review: Vescell #5

I read this issue because I was on a plane otherwise I’m not sure I would have picked it up on a whim. The first issue left a sour taste in my mouth and I never felt the need to go back to the series. That being said I was surprised by this book… a lot. Let’s start with the cover of the dapper looking man and the blonde bombshell getting all close. Now look if you look at just the top half she’s reaching down towards his… gun, which is clever since she’s holding one. This entire cover is very well constructed and one of the best of the year already. The design choices are very smart and I wouldn’t be surprised if this cover makes in on someone’s "list of stuff." The story is about a series of murders in which blonde woman are being murdered around the city and the back of their necks are being cut open. There are three divisions of what I can only guess is authority in the city and Lieutenant Vega is part of the Paranormal Authority Agency. She’s not on this case since the corrupt local cop is ruling it as a normal homicide, but she thinks there is more going on. She consults Agent Barrino (the dapper man on the cover) about the case and soon enough he’s locked into a classic, “everyone is hiring me to find the same person gig.”

The catch that makes the story interesting (SPOILER) is that the woman contains the soul of Hitler. This book takes place in some alternate timeline when Hitler hasn’t been removed from the picture for that long. There’s some great dialog from the blonde containing his soul and really the sequence of events from beginning to end are very interesting.

I was really taken in by this book and the world it created, it was much better than I remember the first issue being. I liked the meshing of the futuristic world with the new races of humans (Lieutenant Vega). Also the stance on sexual partners and relationships was well done and didn’t come off like the main character just being a man-whore. He's in a committed relationship with a woman he loves, but he can also get busy and freaky with another partner. It worked in context of the story and didn’t distract from it either. The art is fantastic. I remember enjoying it a lot before, but the story wasn’t strong enough for me to just tolerate it with the art. John “Roc” Upchurch has the perfect style for the world and great character designs. Everything is clean and sharp and gives the book the right look and feel.

This book surprised me a lot with a good story, the right amount of sex and stunning art. The best part is that it’s actually a standalone issue and though you don’t get a great recap of the world and characters relationships, it’s enough to get you to the next issue. Personally I’ll be checking out the previous issues as well to see if I’ve been missing something good and actually look forward to the next month’s issue was well.

Score: 4/5

Writer: Enrique Carrion Artist: John Upchurch Publisher: Image Comics/ Price: $2.99 Release Date: 1/4/12

Review: Witchblade #151

Let’s just call this the way it is shall we, Ron Marz stole a page from Catwoman and her disappearing baby act. You may recall prior to the reboot at DC that Catwoman had a baby that she gave up for adoption and then had Zatanna erase her memories of ever having a child. Well apparently in Artifacts (a book I gave up on long ago), the Darkness does the same thing and erases the world that Ron Marz created and with his landmark run on the book. With that we’re able to rejuvenate the franchise that he basically wrote into the ground over the last year. The problem is, this un-needed reboot makes the series look older than it is and will probably alienate long time readers with doubts of its continuation. The issue begins with Sara in jail with the classic short dress and ripped look going on, very 90’s but in a good way. She kicks on the Witchblade and narrates to herself how easy it would be to escape from jail, but that she doesn’t want to be a fugitive. Apparently this isn’t a modern jail that’s fully equipped with cameras as she powers down the Witchblade before anyone arrives to see her. We flashback to Sara working a case as Private Eye and being harassed by the local law enforcement. Sara arrived to town and tried to help the police solve some “special cases” that she’d usually handle with the Witchblade. Now they all hate her because Chicago’s police are a little more hardcore than New York’s.

After her daily harassing Sara notices something wrong in the apartment she was watching. She uses the Witchblade to climb the wall of the building (totally fucking up the exterior) and finds her target dead inside. She steals some evidence and then anonymously calls in the murder, which I hope she did several block away and nowhere near her apartment or the scene of the murder since it would instantly put her on suspect list. She eye’s over the evidence which is a matchbook or something stupid like that and decides to put on a skimpy dress and head to the club its advertising.

There are several things that I actually enjoy about the story. I like the new city; frankly we can all agree that New York has been done to death so Chicago is a great choice to move her too. It still has a rich history to play with and plenty of fake crime to tackle. I also like Tim Seeley’s narration for Sara. Past issues were more third person omniscient, but this first person narrative has given deeper insight into Sara’s mind. I enjoyed the bit of her thinking about her age and how a man very interested in her walks away for a younger woman. It was good change of pace for the character and didn’t come off like a males view-point on the subject (at least not all the way). The pacing and overall storytelling is very good and really some of Seeley’s best work to date.

My grip with the story is the whole P.I. angle. I can’t believe that this top-level detective that’s solved so many cases would only have the option of becoming a P.I. rather than joining the F.B.I. That angle is way more interesting as she would have had to walk a different line with the Witchblade and work. Still the P.I. thing hasn’t been done in comics since Alias so this could turn out to be a good thing.

The art was good and frankly a return to true penciling was much-needed. Digital art is good at times, but on a monthly deadline things start to look flat and unrealistic. Backgrounds and settings are a key part of making the world look alive and that is usually the first thing to suffer with digital. New series artist Diego Bernard captures the adventure and sex appeal that Witchblade is known for and overall does an impressive job on the book. I’m personally looking forward to seeing how his art progresses and what tricks he has for the Witchblade.

I’ve collected Witchblade off and on since Marz took over on the series, but I could never get back into it the way I had before his start. With Seeley and Bernard though, I’m actually excited to read Witchblade again for the first time in years. This book is the top-notch quality it should be and though some long time readers may be turned off at first, I think the larger appeal for the series is there as long as the book ships on time.

Score: 4/5

Writer: Tim Seeley Artist: Diego Bernard Colorist: Fred Benes Publisher: Top Cow/Image Comics Price: $2.99 Release Date: 1/4/12

Review: Fatale #1

The genre of pulp/crime fiction is in my opinion important to keep alive in comics. Unfortunately there seems to be very few creators other than Ed Brubaker that are tackling the genre today which basically leaves people lying in wait for his next collaboration with Sean Phillips. Well the wait is over as the duo known for such recent hits as Criminal have released their first book from Image comics in the crime fiction/pulp genre. I have to say it’s not the strongest entry in their collaboration to date, but it’s a still a decent comics. It just didn’t grab at you as much as Criminal or Incognito did, still it manages to be entertaining and entice the reader to return for the next issue. I have to wonder why they didn’t release this book under Marvel’s Icon imprint as they’ve done with their previous six volumes (collectively) of afore-mentioned books. Money is likely the reason since the price tag for the book is the same if it were released by Icon, but I'm sure their take home percentage is better. Does this mean the Brubaker is done with his long stint at Marvel and will soon be another creator taking a stab at setting up shop at Image for a while? Only to return to DC five years down the road? At any rate you want to know what the issue is about not my guesses on what the creative team is doing.

Let me start by saying I have no idea what that fucking cover has to do with the book and if this ends up being similar to Turf in any way shape or form then count me out. The story opens with a man burying his godfather of sorts. He was left in charge of the late author’s estate likely because of his father’s friendship when they were both alive. At the funeral Nicholas is approached by a woman claiming to be the grand-daughter of a woman who new his departed godfather and really nothing else happens her worth mentioning. Later, Nicholas strolls around what is now his house and finds an unprinted manuscript that predates anything that our dead author published. Unfortunately, some strange-looking men show up at the house and invite themselves in… with guns. Our mystery woman from before is also in the house and drops a few rounds in one of the men’s chest. And with that we’re left with more questions than answers as Nicolas finds himself in a shitty situation which is usually the case with pulp.

The story is okay. I didn’t love it and actually the more I thought about it and broke it down I had to be realistic and say that it’s not very good. The events with the mystery woman are a bit ridiculous as she just shows up where ever she wants. When at the house she says she was on her way to let him know that the strange men were on their way, but doesn’t say why they were coming over. It’s clear that her character knows why, but she didn’t say; which means she can’t be trusted. Yet we’re more than likely we're going to see Nicholas fall in love with her or forced to trust her and frankly the angle isn’t very interesting due to the way she was introduced and just popped in. It’s an okay story that I’m hoping will have more substance than plot devices, but right now the world rather than the story Brubaker created is more dominating everything else.

The art is impressive, but when is Sean Phillips art not impressive? What is disappointing is the character design for Nicholas. He straight up looks like the main character from either A) Incorruptible B) Near Death or C) Incognito (minus the hair). This is the second Image comic character in recent months to have a white streak in their hair and I don’t think it was a wise choice. Add the fact that there isn’t much difference from Incognito and Nicholas starts to look less like a character and more like stock standard choice from Phillips. He’s way too talented of an artist to be drawing only one style of character like Ed “Big Chin” McGuinness.

This book is a little disappointing since it’s important to the genre as I started off saying; I don’t think that it will turn a lot of heads or really hook new readers onto pulp the way that Criminal did, but fans of the genre will still get new entry in their library. In all honestly this book will probably just sell based on the names of the creators alone (we all know how I feel about that), but thankfully it’s at least worthy of your money for other reasons this time.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Ed Brubaker Artist: Sean Phillips Publisher: Image Comics Price: $3.50 Release Date: 1/4/12

Review: Li'l Depressed Boy #8

If you’ve yet to pick up Lil’ Depressed Boy from Image Comics then you’re really missing out on one of the best books of 2011. The story follows the life of the character aptly named Lil’ Depressed Boy or LDB as most people call him. His look is that of a sock doll with giant black circles for eyes and a black line of a mouth. Everything about his character seems unrealistic and almost screams of a creative team trying too hard to make something special. Yet LDB is probably the most relatable to anyone who has made it through their late teens into their twenties. LDP’s charm is that there’s something for everyone to relate too, be it the music, the emotion or just the depression that many feel when growing up. This issue sees the conclusion of LDP’s trip to OKC which has yet to have one thing go right for it. The journey started with his friend Drew getting arrested and them making the last song of the show they show they went to see, on the final leg of the trip LDP runs out of cash and Drew’s truck goes bust. The two then push the truck home which pretty much caps off the difficult journey perfectly. Once home LDP finds Jazz waiting on his doorstep, this is the first time he’s seen her since her birthday party in which he discovered that she had a boyfriend.

The thing I love about LDP is that it is a slow-moving drama. It’s been almost a solid year of this book and we’re only a few weeks into the life of the character thus far. If I had to peg one thing that draws people to the book I would say that it’s the realistic conversations the characters have. Not just with each other, but with background characters as well. This issue has a scene in a diner were an entire page is spent on them ordering food. It’s not important to the story, but it makes them more human and more relatable. The writing in LDP always comes across like you’re eavesdropping on someone’s life rather than reading a work of fiction.

The art is as always great. The style complements the story and captures the mood of each scene. If you’re new to the book, LDP will stand out since every other character is photo realistic. I believe the intention of leaving LDP faceless and without any characteristics and without a real name, is to allow the reader to project themselves onto the character. By doing that they allow the reader to have an even deep attachment to emotions of the scene; rather than asking you to feel for a particular character you’re asked to relate to yourself and your own experiences.

This is was a good issue and exactly what I’ve come to expect from LDP. I may not have loved the interaction with Jazz, but that’s the sign of a great book; when it takes the path of most resistance rather than giving you the ending that you want. This might not be the best jumping on point for new readers, but even if you start here you’ll get enough recap of the previous events through the dialog and honestly you should still feel the emotion of the ending. If you chose to wait then you’ll be able to jump on with the next issue.

Score: 4/5

Writer: S. Steven Struble Artist: Sina Grace Publisher: Image Comics Price: 2.99 Release Date: 1/4/12 (That's my first 2012 of the new year folks!)

Review: TMNT #5

I know this is late thanks to my busy holidays, but I have to ask a question here if you are not reading this comic then “Why not?” This book stands alone and ties in with the previous four. Yes the series is that good if you can’t tell by what we have been saying since the beginning and why its one of the best of the year for us. This story is centered on Splinter and a story of Japanese folklore. Splinter is roaming the streets looking for some gifts for the turtles and avoiding Hob’s goon which are still on the lookout for The Turtles and Splinter. He then goes into the story of Hamato Yoshi and Oroku Saki. Both part of the Foot Clan and how each divided and part ways. Hamato Yoshi left the clan because of what Oroku Saki was turning it into. They were first going in to assassinate the lord of the castle and then Saki ordered to kill everyone in town. This act pushed Yoshi away and made him a traitor in Saki's eyes. Saki and the clan plan to kill Yoshi’s family to send him a message. Yoshi made it home before they got to his sons but it was too late for his wife. Honoring his wife’s wishes Yoshi fled instead of taking revenge and fled with his four young boys.

That’s the main story but there is the other part. Casey is getting talked to by his coach to bring up his grades to stay on the hockey team. At the same time April is putting out a flyer for being a tutor. Which sets up their paths crossing maybe?

The story is good and keeps up the quality being put out already because this sometimes can become a trap book. Bridge books can hurt some series because they are filler and have no substance to them. I enjoyed that it stands alone by itself which a lot of comics can do but don’t always in a series. The story of Yoshi and Saki is very captivating and definitely the main focus of the book but there is so much more. The story between Yoshi and Saki can be a miniseries in itself and I wouldn't mind reading it either even though you know how it ends.

Now to the amazing part, the art is wonderfully drawn and wow! What can I say just very detailed to tell the story too. Each character drawn had its own uniqueness. And the colors in the story between Yoshi and Saki were very traditional of Japanese silk screen folklore story. It also captures all the action that is involved in the story.

Again I ask “why haven’t you picked this book up yet?” I say it’s a must have and a great point to pick up because the new story line is about to start.

Score: 5/5

Writers: Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz Artist: Dan Duncan Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99

WTF: Black Widow--WTF is Wrong With Yo Leg?!

I want to see this movie but damn this poster sucks ass. It would make more sense on the back of some Underoos!

Review: Zombie Ranch #1

The first review for Comic Bastards in the year of 2012! Let’s Go! Do you like zombies? Well there is no shortage of selection when it comes to comics and any other form of entertainment for that matter. What if I told you there was a ranch, a ranch where zombies are housed and harvested, crazy right? Well, welcome to Zombie Ranch.

The Great Zombie Plague has decimated civilization, leaving the human race to rebuild and continue. In a world with limited resources humans, zombies alike need food to survive too. Susannah Zane is a rancher that happens to deal in zombies. She is aided by Zeke and Frank her fellow ranch hands. As the day begins, a floating camera ball that films Susannah’s day for a reality television show. She walks the ranch and explains how the ranch works with tagging and branding and dealing with Uncle Chuck. When Uncle Chuck gets his screen time with the “crew” he explains that the zombies are used to feed the zombies. After the interview Susannah gets back to work just in time to hear a rifle go off. She and Uncle Chuck run to find that there has been an accident with Zeke and zombies.

Zombie Ranch # 1 is okay. It takes a while to get into due to the fact that there are no narration bubbles, it just kind of starts and you’re forced to just kind of buckle up and go. But it real doesn’t go anywhere. You just sit around the ranch a wait as the characters explain the world to you. This is somewhat understandable because it wasn’t written for a comic and the cliff hanger style of storytelling; it’s a weekly web comic that runs on its own pace. The art and coloring do a decent enough job in aiding to the story and by the looks of the web comic, it gradually gets better as the story goes.

Zombie Ranch is pretty much the definition of the indie comic scene. It is a comic book from the web comic by the same name (but you probably guessed that by now). Basically that means you can go to the website and check the book. The book is of course just the first 23 entries resulting in one issue of a physical comic. While you’re there you can catch up on the series too. Or you can go the extra mile and support the married creative team in Clint and Dawn Wolf buying the book and the other two full issues. As for me, I think zombies and I have had a good run but I can’t take the onslaught (over saturation) much longer ( Zombie Ranch isn’t to blame—We’ve talked about this on the CBMFPC) and it’s going to have take something very special, damn near epic to get me excited for anything that uses the “Z” word anytime soon.

Score: 1/5

Writer: Clint Wolf Artist: Dawn Wolf Self-Published